Cancervive diary
The Big C01 january 2008
happy new year everyone!
Another New Year is here. I have no apologies for re-typing this poem from last year......
We've seen the passing of another year.
For many it's been filled with pain and tears.
We've seen our loved ones in their decline.
We've had to accept that they won't be fine.
Some of us had to say good bye,
To a long time loved one, and we've all cried.
But there have been times in this past year,
That certain events have brought us cheer.
There are so many friends that are on the list,
And I know there's names I will have missed.
But better friends I could not have bought.
And here is just a New Year's thought.
If it were possible that a wish could come true,
Then this is my New Year's wish for you.
May the coming year be full of hope,
And may we be given the strength to cope.
Let courage, faith and patience abound.
And let us pray that a cure will be found.
And now at the close of another year,
My friends, I wish you a Happy New Year.
I have lost many good friends over the past year, too many really. Sadly it sometimes happens in the 'cancer circle' and there is nothing we can do about it, no matter how hard we fight.
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15 january 2008
ct scanning room, uch, london
Yep another CT scan - most people are (un)lucky enough to have only one or possibly two CT scans in their lifetime. Me, I'm in double digures now! Yes, I have a record number of both CT and MRI scans, and don't even ask me about X-Rays.
I wonder if this is adding to my problems though? More radiation is not good for the body is it? I sometimes think I have enough in me to power some electrical device for a few hours!!! Well you never know. Recycling a glass bottle can run a computer for 20 minutes, I wonder how many I could run if I plug myself in?!?!?! :-)
I was sitting outside the Scanning Room, plugged in to my ipod (you'll never guess what I was listening to??!?!?! Go on, have a guess!).
I had to drink a whole bottle of water in 20 minutes at five minute intervals. It was freezing cold sitting there, and I had my coat on, and they give me a freezing cold bottle of iced water.....brrrr!!!!!
Anyway I managed to drink it all by the time, the guy seemed impressed it was all gone. I was thinking they'd let me go to the loo beforehand as in most scans, but they didn't in this one! Argghhh!!!
As you may, or may not know, it's freezing cold in scanning rooms, and here was me - just drunk a load of ice cold water, in a hospital gown, lying on a cold scanning machine in a cool room, with no blankets either.....bbrrrr!!!
Now the next thing is.....finding a vein. A contrast dye has to be injected to see things better. I knew this was trouble time, it normally is for me. Guess what....she couldn't find a vein, no surprise there.
Another guy was called, he was quite a strong guy with the old needle going in, and I felt him digging around for a vein. It was odd. Although I don't mind it now, I used to hate it, but when they can't find a vein it does make me nervous - which probably makes it worse. They all hide. It was almost in before, but the cannular wouldn't quite go into the vein as it should do.
Anyway, he managed to sort it out "Don't move" and he put loads of tape on it to hold it in the right place. I had to put my arms above my head and then they did a test run in and out of the machine.
Then the voice comes over the intercom and tells me that the contrast is going to go through now. Oh dear, this one has an odd sensation all over, makes you very warm and in the lower regions it definitely feels strange! Like you want to go to the loo, and if you've just drunk a load of cold water this is not a good feeling to have! It is only a feeling though and soon passes.
You also get a metallic taste in your mouth but it soon passes. It's got to be done and I have the delight of thinking that I've got to go through this all again next week for the MRI scan.
At least then we'll find out what is going on when the results come through and I see my Consultant. I'm SO pleased although it's a scary time. At least I'll see what is happening in there.
If anyone out there wants to invent something really useful, I have an idea. Email me and I'll share the secret I have with you and we can share the royalties! :-)
Well I'm shattered now so I'm off for a coffee - had a lovely pressie of a mug for Christmas and also a specal coffee set - people know what I like huh! An easy girl to please me!!!
Take care everyone and I'll let you know how the MRI goes.
Claude - keep smiling matey - at least now you don't have to kick my butt and we can share a coffee instead when you visit ye olde England!!
15 january 2008
gp surgery, blood stuff
Yep more blood stuff. This time it's another blood test and blood pressure test. These people have more of my blood than me I think!
24 january 2008
mri scanner, uch, london
This is my 'Urgent Scan' which WAS scheduled for March...not quite urgent huh! Anyway it has been moved forward to today in the only slot they have, which is at 8.20am! Yes AM!!! I need to be here for 8am and have to be ready for transport 3 hours in advance. So I got up at 4am this morning....argghhh!!!
I sort of dozed off a couple of times waiting for them to arrive......he eventually arrived at.......7am...! So much for getting up at the ridiculous time of 4am!
Never mind, it's happened so off we go to London, in the dark, along with all the commuters on the Motorway. It's a strange feeling watching the morning come alive and everyone getting more and more hassled with the traffic. There's nothing you can do about it but wait...so we did....a lot....!
I went to the MRI Scanner Department, only to find it locked and had to gain access. I was then told I was in the wrong place and had to go to the 'Special MRI Scanner' I'm not sure why....no one has explained.
So the next step was to get changed into one of those horrible gowns and take everything into the next room. I chose my music....and then went and laid on the machine ready for it to do it's stuff.
Luckily this time, there was no need for a contrast dye which was good, phew a relief for my poor arms which look like pin cushions :-(
I was lying there, feeling sleepy and hearing the distant 'thump thump' of the MRI machine and I heard "Karen, please don't wiggle your toes....I can see you from here'. It was lucky as I'd done it in between the scans without realising it so it didn't have to be done again.
Then....I was free to go! As it was early I called in to see Jon, a friend of mine from the Macmillan course, and had a tour of the Radiotherapy Department, including...wait for it......a view of the Photocopier....! LOL!!
I then waited for Transport and came home......another appointment done and dusted.
28 january 2008
blood test...again...!
Yep another one, this time a fasted one. I got to the hospital at 10am, the number was 15, I was 52 and one guy had already been waiting since 9am and his number was 46. Ouch...a long wait.
No one wanted to give up a seat so I had to cling to the wall to keep me up and try to change feet when it got too bad. As usual I had my ipod with me, so just ignored everyone.
The thing that gets me, is people take along 2/3/4 relatives (as they can't seem to go on their own) and they all take a seat - all perfectly healthy, mostly young, no obviously visible problems, but they won't give it up.
I eventually managed to get a seat, much to some womans disgust....but hey...I thought my need was greater....! I'd already been standing for ages and she'd just arrived so I didn't feel too bad.
Eventually my number was called and they 'tried' to find a vein. Actually it wasn't too bad compared to normal and then it was time go again. Another one down....