The Furry Monkey

10 may 2005
the tuesday tumour group, middlesex hospital

I was just about to get ready and what happens? Yes the ambulance came early! I had to quickly change and grab my bag, good job I'd put most of it in there already.....purse.....notebook....tablets.....novel....etc - you know the sort of things to take when there could be a long wait. My appointment was not until 3.00 and it wasn't even 11.30am yet so I took a big novel!!!

We had to collect three other patients (and escort with one of them). The last patient we spent ages trying to find her house as it wasn't easy to find. Eventually we found it and waited whilst Ian went in to get her, only to find that she had gone off on holiday to Spain!!

I ask you, she could've let them know to save wasting their time (and ours!!) and also the NHS money. That is where a lot of money is wasted - patients not turning up for appointments and not letting them know.

Anyway we then went on our way to the Middlesex. In a way it was better as she was going to Charring Cross so it was better for the rest of us as we were all going to the Middlesex! :-)

We made good time after that and I got some fruit before I went down to the Clinic as I was so early. Lovely cox apples and some grapes (had to delve deep to find some decent ones of those though).

I ambled down to the clinic and booked myself in and got my book out and waited. Then I saw my note about my other appointment. I had a feeling when I made this one that the other got cancelled....and I was right it had! They didn't reinstate it though as the Consultant might change the date.

I was getting into my book (a new one I'd just started) when my name was called. I was seeing Tim her registrar (not Mr Briggs!). He was very nice and said he'd been reading my file to bring himself up to date - a lot better than other registrars I've seen who didn't even know what I had wrong with me!

He examined my leg and it was quite painful but I'm good at wincing with no noise! He said he'd go and speak with Dr C. I've got my MRI date so he said that was good as it was quite soon and then to come back after 10 days for the results. This is a LOT better than I've had previously where I've waited months for a result! I know NHL is difficult but it shouldn't take that long.

He said my bloods were up, but not dangerously so and they were being cautious which is good news in my book. At least the scan is soon and all I have to do then is go again 10 days later.

I asked about chances of recurrence but it's difficult to say as everyone is different. I know of a couple of people who were told they were cured and it's come back. I have my own thoughts on this disease as I think everyone has.

Take care everyone and I'll be back soon with more updates for you!

12 may 2005
ashford hospital, MAXILOFACIAL Department

I've waited a LONG time for this appointment. My dentist has noticed that the mouth ulcers and cracked tongue have been getting worse and it's now also on my gums as well. He said he'd send me to the Hospital Dental Department who will check it out and take a biopsy just to check with my past history.

It's good that most people are so on the ball and willing to get things checked out. So off we went to the hospital again. This hospital holds bad memories for me in lots of ways, but thankfully we wouldn't be going near the departments concerned this time.

So we joined this HUGEEEE queue to see the dentists. Eventually my name was called and it was the Nurse from my own Dental Practice! She'd left there in September I think she said. Small world huh!

Anyway in I went and saw this Dr. He checked all my history and asked me loads of questions. He then checked my mouth and also, strangely, my hair! Not the normal thing a dentist does but apparently he is 99% sure I have something called Lichen Planus which was probably caused by the chemo.

It can never be cured, might get worse (getting that deja vu feeling here!). It can go in the hair, the eyes, the ears, anywhere on the body in fact. I've had an itchy head for a while and my friend who cuts my hair said to change my shampoo for a while for a gentler one as I wash my hair every day. It worked for a while but it is back the same now.

So, I'm to have a biopsy in July (I spend most of my life waiting for hospital appointments now sadly). It's scary that he said 99% sure, as the last person that said that to me then had to tell me I had a mass in my leg that he wasn't sure if it was benign or malignant. It turned out the be cancer :-((((((

It cannot be cured, they can only ease the symptoms. Now I'm finding that even things I used to be able to eat, I now can't as they are too spicy. Even very mild things hurt me so much I cry when I eat it. It restricts a lot of things in my food menu but there is nothing I can do. He said they would probably give me a steroid treatment. Not looking forward to that one bit.

So, another thing they didn't tell me I could get. This chemo is not just horrendous at the time, but later on too. I'm still suffering the side effects of it now. Some people sail through fine, others don't. I'm one of the ones who didn't get it easy at all.

14 may 2005 *** Addition ***
Vets appointment for the cats!

Can you believe how much it costs to get two cats booster injections and a yearly check?! £83 that's how much!!! Arghhhh!!

Bertie has been ill a few times and it could be his colon problems, but the vet checked it and she said it was OK. It could be stress, change in diet....anything that would upset him. He is a nervous cat so we're going to try a few things to see if it works.

Fingers crossed, so far it seems to be. He's not been sick for a couple of weeks now which is good.....keep those fingers crossed! We can't afford an operation for him! It cost £650+ eight years ago so I dread to think what it'd be now.

31 may 2005
dental hospital

Another dental appointment. Sadly it looks like I will have to lose my baby tooth - after all this time. I'm going to miss it but there's nothing else they can do to help me keep it.

Also they only do silver fillings which I'm not pleased about. All that in the news about amalgam made my mind up to have my old ones taken out and replaced with white ones. It was OK whilst I was working, but now with NHS dentists in such short supply it's difficult.

Cancer is not just about the treatment at the time, but the cost of what it does to your body and your purse post treatment. The drugs I now have to take daily, the compression stockings I have to wear and also the mouth ulcers/gum problems and of course the bone pain.

It's quite depressing sometimes, but you keep trying to be "positive" as everyone says.