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| Appointments: 02-Feb-03 | 03-Feb-03 | 05-Feb-03 | 06-Feb-03 |
| 02 February 2003 |
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Oh dear, a crap day again!! Not only am I on morphine tablets, but am also taking liquid morphine now as well. What a mess - sometimes I despair of this ever ending. Just when you think you're getting somewhere, it throws something else at you. It's going to take a lot longer than I thought. I don't want to do anything apart from sleep, I go to sleep tired and wake tired. It's one of the (many) side effects that are hard to deal with that's for sure. I'm bright when I'm with others, although I've been told I'm looking tired lately, but when you're on your own it's a different matter isn't it. I look to the outside world as though everything is going OK, but inside, well it's nothing like hunky dory shall we say. The other thing that is worrying me is that my sick pay at work is due to end and now I've got loads of forms to complete to see what I'm entitled to in the way of benefits. It's bad enough being sick, but then everything else as well makes it worse. Still, just got to get on with it - it won't do it on it's own will it? So if you know anyone who wants to buy a 406 Coupe then PLEASE let me know, as I may have to sell mine before I've even really enjoyed driving it! Anyway enough of the doom and gloom for now, I'm going to have a coffee and who knows, may even have a little nap! Fingers crossed that this extra pain goes away soon..... |
| 03 February 2003 |
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Not feeling too brilliant again today. I was hoping that the pain would be going back to it's dull ache again, but no such luck. It's still here and making me feel awful. HR were supposed to be coming round today, but Tracy has been ill. It's nice that people don't want to share their germs with me, although I've now got to go through all these forms on my own. I've got a couple of numbers to ring though of people who may be able to help so I'm giving today up as a bad job and will try again tomorrow. I can't really concentrate when the pain is this bad anyway so it's just as well in a way. I'm just going to do "not a lot" which John say's I'm quite good at! If anyone knows anything about benefits and stuff, email me and I'd appreciate any help! I've only ever had one week off sick in one go before, so all this sickness is new to me! As for benefits, that's a whole new ball game..... |
| 05 February 2003 |
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This back and side pain is VERY wearing. It's there all the time even with both liquid and tablet morphine. I just wish it would go away...... I've not managed to do any of the forms yet, and am getting quite worried about them. I'm in enough pain with this stupid disease without having to worry about basic things such as how am I going to pay the bills etc...... Why is nothing easy? |
| 06
February 2003 Mr Briggs, London |
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Went to see Mr Briggs today in London. I had two x-rays done and then went in to see him. He said he was very pleased with the way my leg was going and that it looked a lot stronger. He said that compared to what it looked like before it is a GREAT improvement. "So how are you feeling" he said. "Well, to be quite honest, I feel really rough" said I "I'm on morphine tablets and liquid morphine and it still doesn't take this pain away" "Right, where is it?" and he examined my back briefly. "You're a tough cookie and for you to say you are in pain it must be bad, I want you to have an MRI scan ASAP and then come back and see me the week after. I can see you are in pain and we need to sort it out quickly for you." So I am now having another MRI scan next week in Harley Street. Hopefully we shall find out what all this pain is about. It makes me so tired and it's hard to cope with constantly all the time. If I'm asleep I don't notice the pain so much which is good. Also the morphine knocks me out. I spoke to a Doctor at the Practice this afternoon after getting back from Mr Briggs, and she said morphine is a fine line between being awake and groggy, it also affects your digestion. (Great fun - NOT!). She has increased the dosage and I'm taking the first one tonight. I hope it eases the pain - it's really getting to me and I am so fed up with it all. I thought I was supposed to be getting better now, not worse. I've had all this for long enough and it's getting me down now. :-((((
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