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| Appointments:
| 04-Jun-03 | 04-Jun-03 | 11-Jun-03
| 12-Jun-03 | 14-Jun-03 | 19-Jun-03
| 24-Jun-03 27-Jun-03 |
| 03
JUNE 2003 Home |
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At long last, some good news. The Benefits Agency have decided to give me Incapacity Benefit. I don''t know how long it's going to last, but at least it is something. It's not going to change my life just yet though - ha ha ha! I've still NOT had a reply to my letter though, so heaven knows when I will. It seems like they don't realise that at the end of these claims (well some of them, I know a LOT are ALLEGEDLY not legitimate claims!) there are real people. Life is hard enough at the moment without this! What else, oh yes, the redundancy front - nothing yet. It's bad enough having cancer and other health problems without the added stress and anxiety of worrying about my job (or not as the case may be!). It has been confirmed by the medical profession that stress can cause cancer - I had enough stress before I was disagnosed, I'm not going through it again. I'm waiting for my appointments to come through for the Lymphoedema Nurse, my leg is sore, tender and painful - I want to know how I can alleviate some of the pain. Whether I rest or walk, the swelling is there as well which is another pain the proverbial, well actually it's a pain in the leg, but you know what I mean!!! So everyone, take care and keep smiling until next time......
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| 04
JUNE 2003 Home |
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Well at last I've heard from work. The others heard on Tuesday and were VERY surprised I wasn't told until Wednesday afternoon. So was I!! If nothing changes between now and 16th June 2003, I will be made redundant. It seems strange knowing that I won't ever be going back there. I left one Friday night in extreme pain, hobbling down the steps outside of our office, and never went back! The thing is, I've still got pains in my leg though, but at least the chemotherapy and radiotherapy has finished now. Unless there is a change in the tumour, I hope not to have more of it. One lot is quite enough thank you very much. |
| 11
JUNE 2003 Home |
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Tomorrow I go into work for the last time. I need to clear my desk, say goodbye to a few people and that will be that. No more job there for me. It's an odd feeling as I've worked there for so long. Now the plan is to get back to fitness (as much as I can anyway) and then find myself a job. I've got a few things wandering around in my head, thinking things through. Who knows what the future holds? Would we want to know?! |
| 12
JUNE 2003 Last day at work! |
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I arrive fairly early, John has a hospital appointment (yes, it makes a change from me!!). He will pick me up later. It's strange, knowing that this is the last time I will be here. I've worked here for a long time and seen many changes in the company. The place doesn't seem the same to me anymore though. People are understandably unhappy at the occurences of late. Change is one of the few certain things in life (apart from the Inland Revenue and dying of course!). I pack all my things away, bits and pieces collected over the years. A few things of personal property have disappeared, which is a shame. I wanted one of the nice leather folders I had been given and kept in my cupboard to go to interviews with. They were securely locked in a cupboard when I left all those months ago. I suppose nothing is secure in this world, your health, your job, your property, nothing. Then we head off to a local hostelry for lunch, and more nattering. It was nice to see everyone and we plan to keep in touch. My email address book is ever growing! John collected me later in the day, Laura carried all my bags to the car (thanks Laura!), I had more bags than I thought I would! Then it was goodbye and off I went. On to another chapter in my life, not sure of what the future holds now. I asked John what his consultant said, talking to John sometimes is like trying to get blood out of a stone. He said his consultant had reduced his steroids and to take them every other day, and that he had been given some information about going on a trial for a RA drug. Let's keep our fingers crossed it works. At the moment he's really moody, it must be the change in steroid dose. I just wish it wasn't always me at the receiving end.
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| 14
JUNE 2003 Home |
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It's been a fairly depressing time of late. What with the redundancy, the increasing pains in my legs, neighbours from hell still hammering and drilling. I'd like some peace and quiet for a while. I feel so trapped. I can't drive, walking is painful, I can't do what I used to, I get blamed for things that I have no control over, I have no job now that I can walk back into, the future is uncertain. I need a break away from here, but there's not much chance of that at the moment either. It's one of those "what's the point?" times. You just feel down and there's not much that cheers you up. Sorry everyone, the Furry Monkey isn't smiling today...... |
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| 19
JUNE 2003 Home |
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An ambulance comes to our house again. This time though, it's not me, it's John. Makes a change I hear you cry. Normally it's Karen! John went to the dentist yesterday and was given antibiotics. He was ill on the way home and looked awful. He kept being sick and could hardly stand. I phoned the dentist and he said it was unlikely to be the antibiotics, but as John is on a lot of other tablets and the symptoms combined it would be best to call a Doctor. After much hassle in trying to get a home visit - some Doctors receptionists are a nightmare. They give the good ones at the Practice a bad name unfortunately! In the end she agreed a home visit would be made. I know they have their job to do, but come on, how many home visits do we ask for??? All they have to do is check in the records and they know if it's genuine or not. I know an ex-doctors receptionst and she's confirmed that!! When he arrived he checked him over and said he was calling an ambulance. He was going to my favourite hospital (NOT!!!!) and I wouldn't be able to go with him. I sat at home waiting..... Eventually Mum called to say that they didn't know what it was, he'd had three lots of fluid, a couple of injections and a cannular put in. I know all about those!! The Doctor said he had a "gastro-intestinal-something or other" they didn't know exactly what. At least he was honest. It also appears that the service has improved there as the Doctor John saw was attentive, polite, gave him painkillers, came round every so often to ask how he was etc. It was a LOT better than when I was there. How come I always get the rough end of the deal?!?!?! He was discharged and sent home. He has been improving day by day and seems back to his normal self now, giving me lots of sarky remarks! |
| 24
JUNE 2003 Home |
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Not a lot happening at the moment. I've had some ISP hassles and have now changed to another ISP. I hope they are a lot better than the other one. They were quite good for a while but I've not been able to access the internet for 10 days until a couple of days ago. I decided to give it up as a bad job and start with a new one. So far they have been excellent, just what I need. John went to the hospital yesterday about the trial, he had lots of tests - blood tests, x-rays, EG, a shot of tuberculosis in the arm (eeeooowww!). Then next week assuming all the results are fine, he will learn how to inject this drug into himself. I could never do that. Fingers crossed it all works and he improves. I've got my gallbladder check-up on Friday at the hospital (a different one to John). I liked that one better, they seemed to know what they are doing a LOT more than at Ashford. I'm not sure what happens at this check-up so will see how it goes then. |
| 27
JUNE 2003 Mr Bearns Outpatient Clinic, St Peters Hospital |
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Arrived early for my appointment and joined the queue after being told that the Doctors had not finished their rounds yet and were delayed. Hopefully it won't be long. There was a guy there who was 10 minutes over his appointment time and was trying to get to the top of the queue. At this time I'd been waiting an hour already! People must learn to be patient (no pun intended!!). I finally got to the top of the queue and went into the Consulting Room. Mr Bearn arrived and I was examined. He said it all looked fine and asked how I was doing. "It's the best thing that has happened to me all year" I said. I'm so pleased to be without that pain. He said it was all good and had healed nicely. He asked about my leg, and examined that as well. A letter was dictated to Dr Cassoni to expedite the appointment for the Lymphoedema Nurse. Hopefully something will happen soon. I've been waiting for what seems like ages. I gave him a thankyou card and he was pleased with that, he said it was nice to receive one and told me I had been a wonderful patient. To get rid of the pain was wonderful and if he had said "Jump" I would've asked "How high?!". The hospital waiting room was packed today. I wonder if they need more staff??? Perhaps I should've suggested it whilst I was there huh! Anything is worth a try these days. I also forgot to ask one of the questions I wanted an answer to. I'll have to just find out somehow. Before we went, I visited my old Ward and saw Sister Barbara and had a short chat, she was busy as ever! It seemed like a home from home and I know it's strange but I miss it. You get institutionalised really quick there. We left some stamps for the Kidney Appeal (they sell them and make money for the much needed equipment), and also asked after Margaret. She is doing fine and has moved to another ward, so I'll drop her a line and maybe go back and see her soon. John was waiting in the Car Park so we couldn't hang around too long. That was the end of my busy hospital appointment. I've also spoken to Lisa to arrange the "Career Transition Workshop" for Monday. I'll let you all know how that goes. I expect to be mega tired after that!! |
